Discovered tonight that one of my daughters has a drunken alter ego called Crystal, who is renowned amongst Wellington\u2019s youth for her white trash shenanigans after an under aged drink or several. This is the same daughter who showed me this week that if you press your lips together really firmly, they look amazingly like private lady parts, and you can take a Snapchat photo of them and send them to any pesky nude seeking boy, and as long as it disappears quickly enough, before he can take a screenshot, or (presumably) wonder about your really incredible bikini wax, everyone\u2019s happy and no one the wiser. I think I need a lie down.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Discovered tonight that one of my daughters has a drunken alter ego<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-428","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa8Ukf-6U","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":76,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2018\/08\/04\/really\/","url_meta":{"origin":428,"position":0},"title":"Really?","author":"Interloper11","date":"August 4, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Oh is there a National Sarcasm Society? Really? Fascinating. Tell me more...","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/A558FE8C-2C4D-467D-860D-4D38E2A3992C-300x225.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":8828,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2023\/04\/15\/who-am-i-really\/","url_meta":{"origin":428,"position":1},"title":"Who am I really?","author":"Interloper11","date":"April 15, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Who I think I am when I talk about being told off for my editorials: Who I\u2019m a little worried I might sound like:","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/C0FBE3BA-4B9E-4B6A-87DA-EC7808F433EC-300x171.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2266,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/04\/28\/side-effect\/","url_meta":{"origin":428,"position":2},"title":"Side effect","author":"Interloper11","date":"April 28, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I suddenly figured out today what\u00a0really\u00a0happened to me last Friday night - a delayed adverse reaction to the flu vaccination I got earlier in the week. Now it all makes sense - phew! It must have given me a dose of that stomach flu you hear about. Now I just\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/8758D89C-47AC-4613-AA51-82CFCACE146B-300x225.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":8618,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2023\/01\/03\/head-case\/","url_meta":{"origin":428,"position":3},"title":"Head case","author":"Interloper11","date":"January 3, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"One of my daughters has \u201cborrowed\u201d my bike helmet so I decided I\u2019d buy a new one today. The cycling shop was open so I thought I\u2019d just pop in quickly since I knew exactly what I wanted. Turns out it wasn\u2019t that simple. There was a ten fold difference\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/2B4EB11B-8BCD-4F66-B7D7-2F320309C908-300x176.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10477,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2024\/08\/29\/my-french-fortnight-is-almost-over\/","url_meta":{"origin":428,"position":4},"title":"My French fortnight is almost over","author":"Interloper11","date":"August 29, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"My French course this week has been really tough. I asked my teacher this morning if she thought I was in the right class for me, and she said she thought I was, and I\u2019ve found it harder this week because it\u2019s revision week for the students that will be\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_0218-1024x736.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_0218-1024x736.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/IMG_0218-1024x736.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8018,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2022\/07\/04\/echo-chamber\/","url_meta":{"origin":428,"position":5},"title":"Echo chamber","author":"Interloper11","date":"July 4, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I have a small role in helping to organize a local conference in October. At last night\u2019s progress meeting we were encouraged to get on twitter to help promote it. I got off twitter a year or so ago, worried that it was exacerbating my tendency to being passive-aggressive. But\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=428"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/428\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}