I have these middle aged jowly bits that ooze down past my jawline but disappear when I smile, so I\u2019ve been smiling a lot lately. Trouble is, everybody thinks I\u2019m happy (and\/or) slightly deranged all the time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have these middle aged jowly bits<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa8Ukf-14O","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1681,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/02\/16\/happy-birthday\/","url_meta":{"origin":4142,"position":0},"title":"Happy Birthday!","author":"Interloper11","date":"February 16, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Here he is, enjoying the Dad equivalent of a champagne breakfast. Looking good there, Simon! An excellent advertisement for the benefits of fresh air, exercise, and statins.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/C3BED8C6-6639-49C8-A3F1-BAB7E5559624-225x300.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5006,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2020\/06\/23\/never-happy\/","url_meta":{"origin":4142,"position":1},"title":"Never happy","author":"Interloper11","date":"June 23, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s very hard to please some people. If a patient bleeds too much during an operation, the surgeon complains and asks what the blood pressure is, under the assumption it\u2019s too high and that\u2019s causing the bleeding. But on the other hand, if there isn\u2019t enough bleeding, the surgeon asks\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9021,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2023\/06\/17\/happy-hour\/","url_meta":{"origin":4142,"position":2},"title":"Happy hour!","author":"Interloper11","date":"June 17, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"The beach bar. Kirsty arrives late and with absolutely no respect for the dress code. I forgot to mention something that happened this morning, pride coming before a fall and all that. I was rock hopping down by the beach when a big volcanic boulder rolled out from underneath me\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/061DD1B7-1796-4256-B442-E9E93BF886D2-300x249.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4898,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2020\/06\/06\/happy-birthday-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":4142,"position":3},"title":"Happy Birthday!","author":"Interloper11","date":"June 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s been exactly 22 years since my oldest daughter was ripped from my womb with shiny silvery tongs. Happy Birthday Darling! I thought it might be nice to give you all an update on how she\u2019s doing. It\u2019s been almost a year since she moved to Ottawa in Canada with\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2289,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/05\/02\/fruitful\/","url_meta":{"origin":4142,"position":4},"title":"Fruitful","author":"Interloper11","date":"May 2, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I can\u2019t believe there was ever a time when I actually thought I liked feijoas. My eyes have been opened. Now I realise they are the most disgusting fruits on the planet. No wonder the birds don\u2019t eat them. Can I really have been looking forward to feijoa season? Surely\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/6E329B5E-FB4A-481D-97DD-F449931A9902-225x300.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3570,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/11\/02\/katie-update\/","url_meta":{"origin":4142,"position":5},"title":"Katie update","author":"Interloper11","date":"November 2, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"People have been asking how our cancerous doggie is doing. Katie is alive and well and quite happy so far. The enormous lump under her armpit is growing slowly but not really affecting her use of that leg. We discovered last night a bunch of new rubbery growths across her\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/4FE02998-B4D3-40C9-B5ED-6EFBDC55FB94-300x225.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4142"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4142\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}