{"id":4091,"date":"2020-01-21T10:49:17","date_gmt":"2020-01-21T10:49:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/?p=4091"},"modified":"2020-01-21T10:49:17","modified_gmt":"2020-01-21T10:49:17","slug":"fluffy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2020\/01\/21\/fluffy\/","title":{"rendered":"Fluffy"},"content":{"rendered":"

One little kiddie that came to theatre this evening (5yo + monkey bars + gravity = munted forearm) brought his mate Mr Koala in with him.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Emotional support marsupial<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I reckoned we ought to singe him up a bit with the diathermy, to make him look more authentic, but everyone looked at me like I was a monster or something. Lucky I didn\u2019t get a chance to explain to the wee lad that because koalas get very little nutrition from their limited diet of gum leaves (poisonous in large quantities), their brains have become quite shrunken and they\u2019ve lost much of their ability to socialize and play, so that even if they look cute and cuddly they just aren\u2019t really capable of connecting emotionally. Of course, I expect Mr Koala is quite different in character to the general run of his contemporaries.
\nAnd just in case you\u2019re thinking that koalas aren\u2019t the only heartless beasts around here, I hasten to add that I did donate to WIRES last week.<\/p>\n

\"\"
NSW wildlife information, rescue and education services Inc<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One little kiddie that came to theatre this evening<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/sa8Ukf-fluffy","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8089,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2022\/07\/26\/stockholm\/","url_meta":{"origin":4091,"position":0},"title":"Stockholm","author":"Interloper11","date":"July 26, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Accidentally read an erotic novel yesterday. 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