\u201cToday I married my best friend!\u201d Oh, I see how that might happen – you were meant to marry the bride but accidentally signed the register in the wrong place and married the best man instead! Embarrassing!<\/p>\n
Do you think my bad attitude might be the reason I\u2019ve never been a bridesmaid? Weddings are certainly no place for the cynical. But actually, I love weddings! The speeches are definitely the highlight; my speech was certainly hilarious, although the groom wasn\u2019t that fussed. One of my brothers apparently made an excellent best man speech at our other brothers\u2019 wedding, but I missed it because I was in the bathroom, trying desperately to get the poo off my daughters\u2019 legs. This was before I figured out you could rip pull ups along the side, instead of pulling them down and off the legs like a normal pair of knickers. Doh. She didn\u2019t care – she\u2019d already picked all the sugar flowers off the back of the wedding cake, but I was super annoyed to have missed it. Shame they were too classy (cheap) to hire someone to video the wedding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cToday I married my best friend!\u201d Oh, I see how that might happen – you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-409","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa8Ukf-6B","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3194,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/02\/i-dont\/","url_meta":{"origin":409,"position":0},"title":"I don\u2019t","author":"Interloper11","date":"September 2, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I love weddings, actually. I can\u2019t understand why I never get invited to any? I mean, I think they\u2019re a bizarre anachronism, but I don\u2019t think that\u2019s the reason. One of the last weddings I went to was my brothers, when I was heavily pregnant with the twins - so\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9644,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2023\/11\/18\/fashion-faux-pas-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":409,"position":1},"title":"Fashion faux pas","author":"Interloper11","date":"November 18, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"My usual routine of a weekday morning is to drink two big cups of plunger coffee while reading through various news websites to keep abreast of the latest environmental calamity , and who\u2019s killing who. This week as a little light relief, I clicked on a lifestyle article with the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/IMG_2967-212x300.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3180,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/08\/30\/till-death\/","url_meta":{"origin":409,"position":2},"title":"Till death","author":"Interloper11","date":"August 30, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Was going to write something snide about white trash weddings when I posted this photo of a bridal party in front of our room today. But it\u2019s hard to be cynical when the bride is beaming so. And it\u2019s a lovely dress. Simon saw them a bit later on and\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/357660B6-E81D-4352-A1BD-9E3700C1186F-300x225.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3269,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/12\/put-your-hands-on-your-head\/","url_meta":{"origin":409,"position":3},"title":"Put your hands on your head","author":"Interloper11","date":"September 12, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"The worst part about being married to a Simon is the problem of reported speech. Early on in our relationship I had a lot of trouble trying to avoid the phrase \u201cSimon says...\u201d because of the old children\u2019s game. You know the one - you say \u201cSimon says...\u201d followed by\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9606,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2023\/10\/27\/pond-drama\/","url_meta":{"origin":409,"position":4},"title":"Pond drama","author":"Interloper11","date":"October 27, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"One of our fish is sick. From my frantic interrogation of Dr Google I have come to the conclusion that Fanny is suffering from dropsy. He\u2019s a little camera shy at present and certainly not looking his best so I\u2019ll show a pic of a sick cartoon fish instead to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/IMG_2914.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/IMG_2914.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/IMG_2914.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/IMG_2914.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/IMG_2914.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/IMG_2914.jpeg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2429,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/05\/23\/a-rose\/","url_meta":{"origin":409,"position":5},"title":"A rose","author":"Interloper11","date":"May 23, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Jordan is my married name. My husband wasn\u2019t keen on there being two Dr Jordan\u2019s in the house, but I\u2019d had enough of my childhood surname of Maule. Even if people don\u2019t laugh (and I well remember a certain Mr Lynch gripped by uncontrollable mirth when he heard my name),\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/4BCE0DDC-FA4A-4BE5-9FD0-972E3D8F019F-266x300.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=409"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/409\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}