Played Taylor Swift in theatre this morning, in honour of her recent nuptials, until after an hour our surgeon had reached his Swiftian limit and we moved onto something else. (\u201cWho\u2019s this? Harry Styles? Never heard of him.\u201d)<\/p>\n
Our first patient was an expat from Brazil, their FIFA match was just getting started when we brought her into theatre . At the end of the operation, she was trying to speak as soon as she woke up and I couldn\u2019t get the breathing tube out fast enough before she was asking about the score. We told her the bad news, 2:1 to Norway, expecting that she\u2019d probably forget it but as soon as we got to recovery she was explaining to the nurses that sadly, Brazil was out of the tournament. Luckily the surgery went well, anyway.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like to be cynical, but there\u2019s a phrase I\u2019ve heard from plastic surgeons several times over the years, particularly when they survey a patient\u2019s breasts at the end of an operation and the result perhaps isn\u2019t quite as symmetrical as one might like: \u201cSisters not twins\u201d. Surgery seems to be the natural home of aphorisms: \u201cNever let the sun set on undrained pus\u201d is a sensible one. If someone has an abscess, it should be dealt with sooner rather than later to avoid complications such as systemic sepsis. \u201cAll bleeding stops eventually\u201d has less utility I think. It doesn\u2019t help the patient if they are no longer bleeding because their entire cardiac output is now pooling on the theatre floor.<\/p>\n
I can only think of one anaesthetic saying at the moment, but there are certain to be more which have temporarily escaped me: \u201cIf in doubt, pull it out\u201d referring to a breathing tube which may be in the wrong hole ie the oesophagus instead of the trachea. The former is fairly suboptimal for gas exchange so I would rate the usefulness of this phrase highly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Played Taylor Swift in theatre this morning, in honour of her recent nuptials, until after an hour our surgeon had reached his Swiftian limit and we moved onto something else. (\u201cWho\u2019s this? Harry Styles? Never heard of him.\u201d)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa8Ukf-3oD","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3209,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/09\/03\/more-memories\/","url_meta":{"origin":13059,"position":0},"title":"More memories","author":"Interloper11","date":"September 3, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"OK, I know it\u2019s too soon for another scheduling email - but this is another of my favourites. I remember that frustrating drive to work very clearly. \u00a0 From: Kirsty Jordan Sent: Friday, 1 May 2015 1:22 PM To: Wellington Anaesthesia All Staff Subject: While the cats away... \u00a0 Hi\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":146,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/strict\/","url_meta":{"origin":13059,"position":1},"title":"Strict","author":"Interloper11","date":"August 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Made to take off my watch as an infection risk yesterday by a bossy theatre charge nurse. She said something about dangling jewellery as well, while eyeing my earrings, but I wasn\u2019t having any of that - I expose my naked lobes for no one. Later in the morning she\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5763,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2020\/11\/14\/needed\/","url_meta":{"origin":13059,"position":2},"title":"Needed","author":"Interloper11","date":"November 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I have discovered another use for middle aged females! I bumped into the charge nurse of the neurosurgical theatre yesterday in the staff changing rooms. She\u2019d just wolfed down her lunch and had a quick pee before putting her lead gown back on and rescrubbing. At the moment she has\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7454,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2022\/01\/27\/piss-up-in-a-brewery\/","url_meta":{"origin":13059,"position":3},"title":"Piss up in a brewery","author":"Interloper11","date":"January 27, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"The charge nurse in our theatre just got a phone call from a debt collector. They want to know where the money is for her stint in MIQ a few months ago. Sounds fair, except she was there to quarantine after being in Fiji for several weeks as part of\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9839,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2024\/03\/01\/putting-my-foot-in-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":13059,"position":4},"title":"Putting my foot in it","author":"Interloper11","date":"March 1, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"I went to see the first patient on my theatre list this morning, on the day of surgery admission ward. She was a fit and well young woman, whom I saw with her mother. There was nothing concerning in her history, and in fact it was her first ever anaesthetic.\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3016,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/08\/06\/suspicious\/","url_meta":{"origin":13059,"position":5},"title":"Suspicious","author":"Interloper11","date":"August 6, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Just met a rep who\u2019s trying to sell some equipment to the private hospital where I\u2019m working today. She said she remembered me from years ago, and actually went to our engagement party. She knows me through my husband apparently. I wouldn\u2019t know her from a bar of soap. She\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13059","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13059"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13059\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}