https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2025\/06\/10\/well\/eat\/health-benefits-fiber-quiz.html<\/a><\/p>\nMind you, I\u2019ve been thinking that I’ve \u00a0perfected the art of stealthy farts (or \u201cblow offs\u201d as my outraged grandmother would say, for whom the phrase \u201cpassing wind\u201d was indescribably vulgar), but my daughter would tell you otherwise. My hearing damage from last year\u2019s disastrous nocturnal smoke alarm malfunction means that what seems silent to me is anything but to young ears. My brother in law belonged to a friend group that had a code that if you farted, even silently in a way that you\u2019d be perfectly able to maintain your anonymity, you had to own up by saying the word \u00a0\u201cbadger\u201d. As the first daughter in my family with three older brothers, this is the sort of thing that made male friendships an object of envy growing up. Female friendships could be so catty and toxic in comparison.<\/p>\n
Anyway, as luck would have it, the surgeon I worked with yesterday, who was doing the scoping, is even deafer than I am. He\u2019s a boomer and too vain to wear his hearing aids, bless him. He asked us yesterday, apropos of nothing, whether we associated hearing aids with old people. \u201cNo no no!,\u201d we all said, whilst thinking \u201cyes yes yes!\u201d, although, to be fair, as I told him, I know plenty of people my age and younger who\u2019ve damaged their hearing going to concerts, and what could be more \u2018rock and roll\u2019 than that, literally?<\/p>\n
The nurses in the room were younger than either of us, and presumably with correspondingly sharper hearing, but they never said anything about any extraneous flatus in theatre. Were they really unaware, were they laughing at me behind my back, or were they being polite, or even kind? \u00a0I brought everyone some yummy treats from the local bakery as I drove in to work, so maybe this investment in goodwill paid off. In any event, I\u2019ll take being comfortable and blissfully unaware over painful reality any day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One of the great things about providing sedation for a colonoscopy list is that I can fart all day with impunity if I\u2019m quiet enough about it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa8Ukf-3nC","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4003,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2020\/01\/06\/trying-not-to-be-weird\/","url_meta":{"origin":12996,"position":0},"title":"Trying not to be weird","author":"Interloper11","date":"January 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"When is it time to stop saying \u201cHappy New Year!\u201d to people? I feel as if I\u2019m on safe ground at the moment, as for some lucky normal-type people, its their first week back after the holidays. But what about later this week, or even next week, if it\u2019s people\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 2 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 2 comments","link":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2020\/01\/06\/trying-not-to-be-weird\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6726,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2021\/07\/30\/trying\/","url_meta":{"origin":12996,"position":1},"title":"Trying","author":"Interloper11","date":"July 30, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"I did my bit to help the department today, being a pretend examiner for a mock viva exam for our part 2 exam study course. It was very stressful, for me as well as the candidates. Luckily I\u2019d managed to get hold of a real recent exam question instead of\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6969,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2021\/10\/04\/trying-times\/","url_meta":{"origin":12996,"position":2},"title":"Trying times","author":"Interloper11","date":"October 4, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Out of the goodness of my heart I\u2019ve been making a reprise of my scheduling role in our department to enable a colleague to leave the country to visit elderly relatives. It\u2019s only a temporary secondment, thank goodness, and comes on top of my regular role of newsletter editor. (Plus,\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7873,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/08\/dawdling-towards-destiny\/","url_meta":{"origin":12996,"position":3},"title":"Dawdling towards destiny","author":"Interloper11","date":"May 8, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s official! Those\u00a0fl\u00e2neurs\u00a0gently strolling along the city streets and hospital corridors, blocking my path when I\u2019m actually trying to get from A to B in an efficient manner, aren\u2019t just being thoughtless and rude: they\u2019re trying to kill me!","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/08C53206-0087-43B9-B779-9F256B43070D-1024x130.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/08C53206-0087-43B9-B779-9F256B43070D-1024x130.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/08C53206-0087-43B9-B779-9F256B43070D-1024x130.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1826,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/03\/06\/ewww-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":12996,"position":4},"title":"Ewww","author":"Interloper11","date":"March 6, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Something unidentifiable has dribbled onto my work burkies. Best case scenario, it\u2019s hot chocolate; worst case, blood or worse. I would like to open it up as some sort of audience participation sweepstake, trying to figure out what it is, but the problem is getting a definitive answer. My budget\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/B6ED5F1D-76F3-47BE-99C9-A4355F623431-225x300.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7782,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2022\/04\/17\/stop-copying-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":12996,"position":5},"title":"Stop copying me","author":"Interloper11","date":"April 17, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Continuing the buggy theme, what is going through the mind of this spider sitting on our bathroom mirror? \u201cWhy am I stuck right in the middle of two identical rather messy bathrooms? Why is there an upside down spider underneath me, trying to step on my feet? Why does Kirsty\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/2F1D5D92-6784-4B91-B394-190D0235C544-300x225.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12996","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12996"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12996\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12996"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12996"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12996"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}