\nIt started with the long drawn out torment that was the retiling of the exterior walls. The repointing of the ancient brickwork – who even knew that was a thing? – was just the icing on the cake. The concrete ceiling in the coal room that collapsed to the ground around the same time was due to the double whammy of council failures with leaking water pipes in the street plus a blocked drainpipe from the upstairs neighbours, and you could call it serendipity that the builders were already on the ground so that they could address it. The new concrete ceiling is wonderfully smooth and virtually pristine. I\u2019m sure that crack isn\u2019t anything important. Plus, the fact that the floor remains dryish in most weather conditions makes it far more useful for storage than the indoor swimming pool vibes it was giving off not too long ago. As part of \u00a0replacing the coal room ceiling, the stairs down from the street had to be removed. Due to a misunderstanding, this also entailed the destruction of the gate, which is now being replaced, I\u2019m guessing at our expense. The replacement of the other gate is due solely to Ratdog\u2019s athletic leaping abilities, in spite of her current portly dimensions, so you can\u2019t blame the builders for that. Similarly, the new concrete roof to the coal room provides a launch point for an escape route around the back of the house, and the new fence going in there wouldn\u2019t be necessary if our previous more sedentary pooches hadn\u2019t all curled up their toes within a few years of each other.
\nBut at least Simon and I were on the same page as far as those previous projects went. Our latest renovation was entirely my idea.
\nWhen we first moved in, there was an old fireplace in our bedroom, right above the one in the lounge on the floor below us. We replaced them with enclosed gas fires, which seemed like a good idea at the time. The one downstairs has been quite useful, lit many times for warmth and charm even with the central heating. The one in our bedroom, in contrast, was hardly ever on. Simon mentioned several times over the first few years that he could smell gas, which I pooh poohed (was I literally gaslighting him I wonder?) Finally even my rudimentary sense of smell could tell that there was something wrong, and when the plumber and gas fitter we finally got hold of (the original company having gone bust, oddly) examined it he said there was a leak, and probably it had been there from the moment it was installed. Well it could have been worse, I suppose. Maybe we had been slowly poisoned since moving in, but at least the house hadn\u2019t exploded. This is me practicing stoic principles. Anyway, more thousands of dollars later, it was fixed, the smell of gas had gone, but for some reason, the chimney was now incredibly noisy. Simon can sleep through anything, especially after a few beers, so it was only irritating to me. Finally last year I\u2019d had enough, and I asked the builder (James, on speed dial) if he knew anyone who could help. Mere months later, we had a cherry picker parked outside the house. Apparently the government frowns on gas fires in bedrooms now, strangely enough, so the old one is gone, to be replaced by an electric fireplace. Unfortunately, in removing the firebox they not only damaged the historic wooden surrounds, they also dislodged some bricks in the chimney. So, every time it rained, water would come down the chimney. The next week signalled the return of our old friends, the scaffolding company. It only took a few days for the leak to be found and (hopefully) fixed, which meant the search was on for an electric fireplace to replace it.
\nFlame effect technology has moved on enormously since I last bought a fake fireplace, which is not surprising as that would be twenty years ago now. Having said that, you can still buy the old ones. They look like someone\u2019s school project, with bits of tinsel waving in front of an old torch glued in place, but they are very cheap. The flashiest new technology is holographic fireplaces. These look far more realistic, only missing the sounds and smells of a real wood fire, as well as, I suppose, crackling embers leaping out to burn holes in your carpet when you aren\u2019t looking. Unfortunately they also come with that sparkling new technology price tag. So, we\u2019ve ended compromising with something cheaper but not too fake and cheesy, hopefully. Not sure why we even bother trying to save money, frankly, as this week we\u2019ve discovered that the old brick surrounds have to be replaced as well. Remember this all began with me thinking the chimney was too noisy. Ah well, never mind. I never wanted to retire anyway.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/IMG_1230.jpeg?resize=300%2C242&ssl=1\")
My husband got up early yesterday morning, barely an hour after I\u2019d left the house to go to work.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12788","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa8Ukf-3kg","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4575,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2020\/04\/15\/pests\/","url_meta":{"origin":12788,"position":0},"title":"Pests","author":"Interloper11","date":"April 15, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"The pest man came round yesterday to deal with our rodent problem. He wore a full respirator for his entire visit. We asked him whether there were any options to deal with our infestation of giant cockroaches, which tend to pop up disconcertingly at random moments and places anywhere in\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":209,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2018\/08\/16\/the-songs-of-my-people\/","url_meta":{"origin":12788,"position":1},"title":"The songs of my people","author":"Interloper11","date":"August 16, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m missing house music! The best time I\u2019ve ever had at that school was when Baber won house music about three years ago - what a terrific feeling - just like when Gryffindor gets the unexpected extra points at the end of the book and win the house cup. Go\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2395,"url":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/2019\/05\/20\/oh-look-how-quaint\/","url_meta":{"origin":12788,"position":2},"title":"Oh look how quaint!","author":"Interloper11","date":"May 20, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Just spotted a tour group outside scrutinizing my house, which would be all very well except I\u2019m sitting at the window in my tatty old dressing gown. Don\u2019t often get a day off during the week so I aim to maximize my unexpected leisure time when I get one. 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Bits of our house keep falling off, in the form of rather heavy tiles that crash to the ground quite alarmingly.* It\u2019s an old house, 90+ years, so it\u2019s doing pretty well really, but we do\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/accordingtokirsty.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/2948FE88-A771-4565-BA47-A018C2FC8B3B-300x213.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12788","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12788"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12788\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12788"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12788"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/accordingtokirsty.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12788"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}