I haven’t been a big fan of lawns for a while now. In their “ideal” state, they are a sterile monoculture in which no other plant or insect life is tolerated.
So, a year ago I decided, as the person in charge of mowing the lawns, to let them turn into meadows. In some areas the grass grew pretty long and unkempt, but mostly it stayed a reasonable length, intermixed with various flowers and, yes, weeds, as well as abundant insects. It was great, even though certain of our friends, secret lawn purists, weren’t big fans.
Our long term gardener has moved on to bigger and better things this year, having got his big break in the movie industry, building sets I believe. So, I needed to find a replacement. I love the garden but I don’t have the knowledge, time, or inclination to look after it all myself. Thus, I found myself showing around two prospective candidates before heading off on my sabbatical back in winter. They were both quite different people: one a straightforward quintessential Kiwi joker, the other an alternative organic hippy European. They had very similar reactions when they saw the lawns, though. It was the sort of incredulous distain normally reserved for people who pick their nose in public, or cyclists. I was mortified. When I asked what they would suggest for someone who didn’t want to mow lawns, the first man said astroturf. Quite the put down.
Anyway, I must say the garden looked very tidy when I got back from overseas, after I’d finally conceded my overgrown grass probably wasn’t a fantastic idea. Although, in my defence, wild meadows are rather a thing in European city parks now. Was I just ahead of my time? In any event, the European chap and his team had done a very impressive job. However, I’ve taken over the lawns now, and make sure to have the mower on the tallest setting. Imagine my dismay then last week when I got home after their monthly visit to find the lawns scalped. You can’t tell me this is healthy:
I emailed the gardener to express my displeasure, and he said it was good to know his team could now focus on garden maintenance and not on the lawns, and would I be able to do a nice google review of their business? This seemed a very oddly timed request to me, considering I had just complained to him, but maybe that’s a European thing?
……
I’ve just got the invoice for the last garden visit, and he’s subtracted an hour’s labour for the mowing job I wasn’t happy with. Maybe I should write that review after all?