Old scheduling email end April 2018

The overwhelming response to the upgraded high tech version of my scheduling emails was positive. Well, in fact, the silence was deafening, as they say, but luckily as the editor I get the final vote, so I’m sticking with it.

Coming to work while sick seems a strange concept now, but it was very the norm back in preCOVID times.27th April 2018

“Sickness, part 2: the return of the dreaded lurgy”

And as I enter the second week of my current URTI, the question that l’ve been asking myself is this: how much snot can a human head contain?? This cold is a gift that keeps on giving. I came to work as DA on Tuesday thinking I must be on the mend, but no – I was just moving into phase two. The raging sore throat
has gradually segued into a nagging cough and lots of horrible green snots, and a rather disturbing 40 pack year voice. Even my washing machine is sick of it, and has started shredding my handkerchiefs in protest.

After my desperate plea for emergency locum cover earlier this week, I got an email from Linda Z, currently our man in San Fran. She too has had a torrid time of it lately. Apparently she has been on the ‘roids, not sure why? (Come on Linda! When I said “our man” I was only joking…) I think she must also be struggling for money, she mentioned she was thinking of taking up a job doing phone sex? Perhaps putting her new deep voice to good use? (Ha ha, Linda – I bet you thought I wouldn’t go there – I blame the fact that my frontal lobes have been replaced by a seething cauldron of pus). Apologies to everyone whom I have germed in the past week, and Thank You to all the Chris’s in the department (three) who have told me I should go home today because I look like shit.

Things are looking up on the domestic front, though. My oldest has finally got a job and she’s loving it. I had to give her an emergency lesson on Italian pronunciation (No, you can’t tell people you work at “Sin Sin”. they’ll get quite the wrong impression…), but otherwise she’s doing it all on her own. We do get quite a bit of flak from the girls that we don’t have more useful jobs for finding them part time work (“why can’t you own a shop or something??”). The twins are going to put their hard won vodka experience to the test at another party tonight. Thank God for Uber, that’s what I say. One of them has also had a significant romantic victory this week, a plot by a love rival to take away her pink heart snapchat streak with her boyfriend was foiled by a concerted bilateral effort of delayed replies and spamming. If you have no idea what I’ve just said, then you don’t have teenaged children and I salute you.

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