Tormented

My anguish at missing the aurora has settled into a dull roar that I can distract myself with if I try hard.

Intermittently, though, it comes back like a physical pain on the surface of my brain. Pictures like these express the way I’m feeling.

Of course, I’m not “allowed” to feel this way: how self indulgent; no one died, after all! Nevertheless, I still feel it. When the pain takes my breath away, I think that it would be better to be dead. When you feel this, it’s so hard to force yourself to remember that most of the time, life is good. Am I being a drama queen? Of course I am. I’ve looked after a number of patients this week with serious health problems, which is a good way of getting some perspective. So what if I missed a once in a lifetime opportunity? One day we’ll all be dead.

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