This five year old email was sent during the festive season. It’s already the 7th of December and I haven’t heard a single Christmas carol yet this year. I was more organized back then it seems.
From: Kirsty Jordan
Sent: Friday, 24 November 2017 1:56 p.m.
To: Wellington Anaesthesia All Staff
Subject: Family
Hi All,
Christmas came early for me this morning, with the IT fairies having visited in the night to replace my Citrix Terminal. Otherwise it’s a bit of a lonely day for me, as I’m all on my own. Chris is off sitting a pain exam in Australia. Good luck, Chris! Pain management has changed a lot in my time. Pain is no longer the fifth vital sign, it seems, and escalating doses of opioid analgesia in a non-palliative setting is apparently bad. Also outmoded are those little diagrams where patients are meant to indicate the areas of their body in which they have pain. No more incredibly detailed pictures with careful shading and stippling and extras such as thunderbolts and heavy underscorings in crayon, that were such a horrifically fascinating demonstration of neural plasticity when I was a registrar. On the plus side, having the office to myself does give me somewhere to park my bicycle where it won’t be nicked by thieves, and it also allows me to play Christmas music loudly and sing along, too. Chris is very obliging but there are limits. I read an article this week that said people who start their Xmas celebrations early are just a better sort of person in every way. Well, I didn’t actually read it but I’m paraphrasing the headline. I even ordered a couple of festive items from The Bradford Exchange this week. The Xmas carols they play have a rather tinny quality but the little painted details on the models are excellent. Our department Xmas party this year is on Sunday December 4th at Dick’s house in Khandallah. I can’t remember any more details but it will be in the newsletter. Unfortunately I won’t be there as I’ll be in the middle of our family roadie down in the South Island. The country is looking very dry at the moment so it will be our job to act as drought breakers. That’s what usually happens on our holidays, anyway. I did make it to the registrar farewell function on Wednesday, though, and it was fabulous. Lovely to see so many of us there, and it was a glorious day. Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves, even though all the young people were very loud. In many ways, our department feels like a family, and it is bittersweet when the children grow up and move on, with varying degrees of reluctance. At least they all get the lovely and thoughtful departing gift of a beautiful pen. I haven’t seen any of these close up but I expect they’ll be gold plated, diamond encrusted and personally engraved to prove how much we all value you. And, like arrows loosed from a bow, I hope you will all be able to return one day (or is that a boomerang I’m thinking of? Not sure if arrows returning is a good metaphor at all actually – sounds like some sort of vengeance scenario which hopefully doesn’t apply here).
Speaking of families; regarding the Scot’s boy who ditched my daughter in the middle of her exams: I’m trying to channel my daughter’s lovely and forgiving nature by not saying I hope you rot in Hell, or flogging is too good for you, but rather your atrocious timing is an indication that you are not worthy of being even an associate member of the Jordan family. Goodbye.
Monday
Loooots of people away today. There is a NARCM course, and it’s the new rotation of housesurgeons, some of them brand spanking new out of med school. Be nice and don’t expect too much (although I must say, generally I’m very impressed at the quality of RMOs these days – a great improvement from my time). Anyway, Rachel will be orientating our new housesurgeon this morning, and Phil will be doing an introductory presentation for all the other housesurgeons (“101 ways to keep your anaesthetist happy”), before coming back to theatre for the ECT list. Thanks, Phil.
Lots of cancelled cardiac theatres this week, not sure why? Have they given up the fight for ICU beds? Maybe the cardiac surgeons are having a week long early Xmas party? They gave up the afternoon in OT 2 to gyne, but if they don’t schedule a CABG in the morning I’ll be very surprised. Queue grumpy gyne surgeons pacing up and down the corridor, muttering to themselves, once they discover that the patient is still on bypass at midday.
In fact it’s a very muddly day today, not sure what I could have done to improve it? (disclaimer: I accept no responsibility)
Thursday
Mr R is doing both a scoli in OT 8 and a paeds case in the morning in OT 14. Obviously a very talented man (my shoulder still feels great too).
Paul is very lucky to have the resources to have an 0800hrs start for his TAVI list today (nothing to do with that smarmy email he sent me a few weeks ago – merely a matter of tech availability).
Out at Kene, OT 91 has local varicose veins all day (is there some sort of plague of venous incompetence going on? Do we need to warn CDC?)
The ortho team can only summon up the interest for a morning list, so dental have put their hand up for our anaesthetic team all day. No shortage of demand there, unfortunately.
Friday
Transphenoidals for Phil in OT 12. I’ve found the need to tape the art line transducer high up on a drip pole, and in fact stress levels in general, on this list have gone down hugely as our use of tranexamic acid have gone up. Better living through chemistry!
Poor Chris will be by himself scheduling this Friday and the following one, so please be kind to him. I’ll be back December 15 to sort out Xmas. There are still a few places to fill on my naughty and nice list so best keep on your best behaviour while I’m away.