After several weeks of struggling with a hospital IT system that was determined to hide my old emails, I suddenly found a way of unearthing them all, back to 2010 and beyond. I’ve forwarded a bunch to myself in case the wormhole doesn’t open again.
From: Kirsty Jordan
Sent: Friday, 7 April 2017 3:05 PM
To: Wellington Anaesthesia All Staff
Subject: explanatory notes
Hi All,
This is a Chris week, so I am contractually not obliged to be amusing today. I have decided it’s time I became more discrete from now on, anyway, as I’ve caught several people making sideways glances at my hairline this week. Chris will be back on Tuesday, fresh and invigorated after his time away. He has already shown me his designs for converting our office in the style of a Death Star. Some interesting features, and some fresh ideas in self defense. I think I saw some surgeon repellant torpedoes on there; bound to come in handy. I look forward to how things look by the time I get back from my own well deserved break. I am going to Cuba on Sunday. Unfortunately the wifi is legendarily woeful over there, so Chris will be managing all your scheduling needs for the next fortnight. If it’s anything like my last two weeks have been, I hope someone will take it upon themselves to provide him with plenty of coffee and chocolate. The production planning team will definitely be pleased to have him back – I almost got lynched today when I arrived without snacks.
Needless to say, anything you don’t like on here dates back to before I took over, and all the improvements have come more recently. Ahem.
Monday
In a revolutionary world first, we are going to be using the vascular theatre this morning for a GA paeds case while the vascular surgeon and his anaesthetic team are busy downstairs in radiology with an EVAR. There’s no possible way this could go badly. And if it does, we told Justine (manager) all about it so it’s her fault. Anyway, I’ll be far away drinking mojitos and smoking cigars, so I won’t care. After Easter, the plan will be to do a varicose veins list under local in here during EVARs, so there’s already a precedent (only it hasn’t happened yet). The TEVAR that was booked for the afternoon mysteriously vanished at some stage recently in a secretive process which did not involve either transparency or widespread consultation.
Wednesday
Ortho asked at production planning this morning for a late finish in OT 8. Hope that’s ok, Derek? I will email you. You’re paid to be here until 5:30, anyway, am I right? (boy am I looking forward to this holiday!)
Thursday
Lupe (vascular surgeon) has something challenging for Matt in OT 9 but I can’t remember what it is. She seemed excited about it, anyway.
Friday
Chocolate, crucifixions, bunnies, hot cross buns, resurrections, long weekend: what’s not to like? Don’t come to work unless you have to.
See you all in a few weeks. Hopefully I don’t spend the entire time in American immigration.
Kirsty.