Got it together

I’m on call today and so far I’ve been in theatre all day (it’s 8pm).
It was gorgeous day outside, too. At least I’ve got tomorrow off so I know even if I’m in all night I’ll get to sleep in tomorrow. I wonder when I can reasonably say I’m too old for this shit?

I’m supervising two theatres at the moment. I’m in with the sick laparotomy, and next door they’re doing a neurosurgical case. When we were checking in the neuro patient, the nurse noted that the surgeon had done a “treatment without consent” form, which the surgeon explained was because the patient was confused.

The nurse was surprised at this: “He seemed quite cohesive to me…”

Me: “Um – do you mean coherent?”

Nurse (mildly embarrassed): “Oh yes, that’s right!”

When we were ready to bring our laparotomy patient into theatre, the family said goodbye with hugs and kisses, and her daughter said brightly “I’ll see you on the other side!”, rather an unfortunate way to phrase it, which her Mum clearly picked up on. “I hope not!” She said.

Her daughter (clearly embarrassed): “That’s not what I meant and you know it, you old bat!”

The mother was still giving her the middle finger (on both hands)  as we wheeled her away down the corridor.

Nowt as queer as folk, eh?

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