Did I tell you I almost got a parking ticket the other day?
Or maybe actually, I did get a parking ticket and it’s winging its way towards me in the mail, which would be a bummer.
I had a very quick chore to do in town, and since I was driving past I thought I’d pop in while I was in the neighbourhood. Well, actually of course strictly speaking I already live in the neighbourhood – but it was cold and rainy and I was lazy. I couldn’t find a proper park anywhere so I parked in a P5. I don’t even know what is the point of a P5. What can you possibly do once you get out of your car that will take less than five minutes? You could go to the loo, I suppose, if there was one right there and it was number ones only and you weren’t too particular about hand hygiene. Apart from that…what? Well, I parked there, in an act of the purest optimism, and ran wildly to my destination (a jewellery shop, if you must know). Having successfully completed my transaction, I ran back to my Tesla, only to find the parking schlub carefully photographing it from all angles. Actually my eyesight was only just good enough to know there was someone taking a close look at my car, so I kept running instead of hiding like a coward. I’m not a fan of confrontation. Anyway, it was indeed a parking warden, and when she saw me running up, she pointed at my car in the universal language for “is this your car then, love?” I nodded, and then she started explaining that I’d parked it on the wrong side of the road, and she could tell I’d had to illegally cross the oncoming traffic lane to get there because it was facing the wrong way. I was flabbergasted. I’d been so focused on the duration (or lack thereof) of parking, that I’d completely ignored all other aspects of the parking maneuver. Well, I assume I would have noticed if I’d driven into an oncoming car, but otherwise I was clueless. The warden was actually very nice about it, and I never saw any telltale bits of paper under the windscreen wiper, so I’m hoping my abject and genuine apology was enough to ward off any fines. Fingers crossed.