I have to apologize for the title of this old email. Ashes here refers to the Australia V England cricket test series, and isn’t anything to do with the dreadful events at White Island on Monday. Those poor people, so much suffering, now and in the future for those surviving with extensive burns.
From: Kirsty Jordan
Sent: Friday, 7 August 2015 12:50 PM
To: Wellington Anaesthesia All Staff
Subject: Ashes to ashes
Dear All,
Bit tired today, had a late night following the fourth Ashes test. (spoiler alert) Australia all out for 60! Stuart Broad 8 wickets for 15 runs! I’ve never seen anything like it. Poor old pup. And then England 274/4 in reply…There’s some other sport going on this weekend I believe… the Blackcaps being predictably unpredictable in Zimbabwe…NRL game here at the stadium tomorrow, Warriors having another erratic season…and some rugby game over in Oz. The Best Team Between World Cups is playing. Speaking of Les Noirs, astounding to see Julian Savea being called out for being flabby and out of shape. Steve Hansen needs to come to preassessment clinic sometime for some perspective.
You can’t beat Wellington on a good day they say, and it’s certainly lovely out there today. So, I feel somewhat abashed at finding myself in flesh coloured tights. Trinny and Susanna quite rightly call these an abomination, too reminiscent of orthotic support hose, but even though the days are getting markedly longer, it’s still chilly out there, and there’s nothing inspiring about gooseflesh. If you’re going to be outraged at something this week, now that the dust has settled around poor Cecil, then consider hitchbot – the robot who was supposed to hitchhike across the USA didn’t make it out of California before his headless body was found in a ditch. Oh the humanity!
Some new names have appeared on the schedule recently. Can it be a coincidence that they are all names of famous(ish) movie stars? Come on, work with me on this one: The Great Escape; the blandest James Bond ever; and Zorba The Greek. Speaking of The Mighty Quinn, I have doubled him up on Monday, not because there’s anything tricky on the list, but because he may have forgotten what work is like. It seems from what I’ve been able to gleen off facebook that these new consultants seem to spend most of their “fellowships” gadding about the tourist traps rather than knuckling down and doing the hard yards. Thus, no AKS for Phil this week as the shock may be too great for the unprepared. I’d be girding my loins for the future, though, if I was you.
I’ve also had to make some changes to my provisional roster for Tuesday. The neurosurgeons are having a meeting with management about the DOSA plan which has recently been implemented for their service. It was a surprise to us too, so we’ve been invited along to support our colleagues, and reiterate what a swell idea we think it isn’t. Cardiac next, I expect. “OK, Mrs Smith, you can just inject your husband with this syringe of om and scop at 0600hrs in the comfort of your hotel room, and when he lapses into a coma, just get the ambulance to deliver him to OT 1, we’ll be all ready for him.” What could go wrong?
Monday
A long day for Kirsten M, making a guest appearance in OT 12 for an acoustic. She requests someone pop in around 6pm to give her a shot of clexane.
Tuesday
Something heroic and upper abdominal for Chris T in OT 5, he has requested a spare pair of hands, so Sathish joins him to share the joy.
A FEVAR for Sarah, who has moved her OPD permanently from Tuesdays to Thursdays. This happened shortly after I rostered her to OT 4 one Thursday, but I’m sure that was a coincidence…
Sally being joined by a physician with an interest in perioperative medicine on her list today. Am hoping gyne onc won’t scare her off…
Jeremy taking near part 2 teaching. Only a couple of weeks to go, guys. Chin up.
Wednesday
Previously closed OT 4 now urology every week, hooray! Rod is lovely, though, so it’s not all bad. As long as I have the staff.
A senior reg has been requested for delivery suite to enable preassessment of some tricky high risk customers from over the hill. There’s a joke there somewhere but I can’t be bothered today.
Thursday
Robert and Mark Sherwood have swapped theatres for no good reason that I can fathom.
Vascular replaced by UGI, the case was only decided on this morning, I’ve heard no more. Watch this space.
Friday
Mohua specially prebooked for a very unwell gentleman on Rod’s list. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t make the All Blacks – not even the touring squad.
OK, that’s it from me. Enjoy your weekend.