Just got a call from an insurance assessor from Palmerston North! They want to come and look at our house, the scene of the crime. Not sure what their intentions are but it feels sinister. Is our insurance cover null and void if there’s an upstairs window open even if the alarm was on and all the doors locked? I must confess to never having read the fine print.
Do they think they are going to come and find my so-called “missing” jewellery hidden behind my jewellery box? “Hullo hullo hullo, what’s going on here then?” “Oh my goodness, is that where it all got to? I feel so foolish…OK it’s a fair cop, insurance fraud is the name of the game and I’m done for! I wish I’d listened when my parents told me crime doesn’t pay…”
Or, maybe “I can hear something behind this wardrobe door… let’s have a look…it’s a man with a balaclava on and a big bag marked ‘swag’! OK my lad, you’re coming with me!”
They also said something about “proof of ownership”. Why oh why didn’t I keep every receipt I’ve ever had? Why oh why didn’t I take photos of myself wearing every item of jewellery I’ve ever owned? Is this going to be one of those lifelong regrets that keep me awake at night?? I fear it might be.
Unfortunately I’m going to have to face the music alone as Simon is off to Sydney tomorrow with his shiny new passport, for a long planned ‘Gentleman’s Lunch”. I will try to be brave. I wonder if the thief is feeling this nervous??