You never hear anyone say “sarcasm is the lowest form of wit” anymore. Maybe it’s because there’s so much competition In the race for the bottom in humour – racist and sexist jokes, mocking the disabled, that sort of thing.
Anyhoo, a friend told me today how much he loves all my old scheduling emails that I put on my blog. Even though he’s not medical, he says he finds them a fascinating insight into how hospitals work. So, along the same lines, I expect he enjoys my old netball reports as well, even though he never does a single iota of exercise.
Here, then, by popular demand, is another match report from the Hospital Hotshots.
From: Kirsty Jordan
Sent: Sunday, 24 August 2014 9:19 p.m.
To: Hospital Hotshots
Subject: Match report – amateur version
Hi All,
I sort of offered to do the match report tonight as I had less to do during the game than everyone else. Having said that, Deane may well follow up with some more detail into the actual technical details of what happened – the sort of details that tend to pass me by.
Our team tonight were Lizzie and Satish in defence, Deane and Jenny in centre, and Jonny and I in attack. I was nervous about not being in my usual position in defence, but Jonny assured me that attack was where my talents would be best suited tonight. Jonny is our second drop team captain. Our opposition were a team who I think were called “ My name is not Paul “, strangely enough. The poor things had to play two games back to back. The game before ours was quite close, with the score in the 20’s. Luckily they were young and fit and so our game was a great contest. The ref was Ivan the stoner who was at his most random tonight. He had to sneak out at half time for a quick puff of something to get him through the game. His oddest calls seemed to be fairly evenly distributed so didn’t affect the game too much.
Lizzie and Satish did an excellent job in D, they were everywhere and threw themselves around very athletically and made an enormous number of intercepts. I think the majority of the oppositions points were scored by their rather tubby and decidedly unathletic looking male centre, with two pointers. He was on fire particularly in the third quarter, scoring 6 points in about three minutes. That was their best quarter. Jenny and Deane had a great game as usual, Deane may have been regretting his 28k run this morning and/or the burger and chips he had just before the game, but it wasn’t obvious. In fact he managed to score a two pointer, and if he hadn’t then every point our team scored would have been by Jonny’s hands. Yes, I was just the decoy. The female D was even shorter than me, she had a tough time of it, but the male D was super enthusiastic, he even tried to push the ball back up through the hoop a few times. I don’t think that counts, though. So, we won convincingly in the end, but a good time was had by all, and the opposing team seemed lovely. It would be a pleasure to play them again, and fairer if they hadn’t just played another game ( with no subs in either team, not unusual for a Sunday. ) Scores were approx. 3:12, 6;12, 13;10, 4;11 – for a final score of 20ish to 40ish.
We have another game tomorrow. I wasn’t sure if I’d survive tonight’s game, having been ill with bronchitis all week, but felt surprisingly ok. I was meant to be working a long day in private tomorrow, but unbeknownst to me, the surgeon cancelled the last patient on Thursday ( Grrr ), so I will be free sooner than I thought. So, I’ll see some of you there tomorrow.
Cheers,
Kirsty.