Ooh that looks nice!

I am renowned amongst friends and family for always choosing the wrong thing at restaurants. That will usually be me, sitting in the corner there, frowning disconsolately at my plate of something unappealing, pining after the delectable meals that everyone else is enjoying. Today was no exception. To be fair, there weren’t a lot of options there for someone who is trying to move to a plant based diet for the health of themselves and the planet. Most of the menu consisted of:

meat,

more meat,

meat, meat and even more meat,

vegetarian…but with bacon.

So when I saw “cornbread with tomatoes, chimichurri and ricotta smashed eggs” I thought – this is me. Well, in the interests of honesty in advertising, I would suggest this rewrite:

A bright yellow cake-like substance, tasting of soap, topped with a brown slurry, reminiscent of olive tapenade but more watery and tasteless, and some white curds, similar to cottage cheese but with less flavour. With tomatoes.

2/10 would not eat again (but you know I’m going to order the same type of thing next time, because that’s what I do.) Sigh.

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