To properly illustrate today’s topic, I’m first going to print my work newsletter editorial from yesterday in full:
“It’s grey and dark outside today, but at least it’s not windy. Lost my compost bin lid earlier this week, I think it’s run away to join my wheelie bin which left home on a windy day last month. I hope they will be happy together wherever heavy plastics go when they are done with the human world.
I trust the ANZCA ASM in Kuala Lumpur has been a success, and my co-editor is enjoying her time there and not feeling too guilty about leaving me to get the newsletter out all by myself today, even though I’m very nervous about it. I’m time pressured too as this afternoon I’m rostered to be the MC at our departmental inservice. I’m saying all this because the corollary of the old (cheese) phrase that “good things take time” is that as I’m short of time, today’s newsletter is not going to be the polished jewel that you have come to expect.
There were a few speakers that had been initially pencilled in to speak at this ASM who were unable to do so for various reasons, that we may be able to nab for the Wellington one next year, which is great, although we do have to be cautious as the college is keen to promote gender equity and so we will be aiming for proportional representation amongst our speakers i.e. a 50/50 gender split. Am I saying this to inflame those who will be outraged at this example of ‘PC gone mad’ and will be moved to send in some angry letters to the editor? I couldn’t possibly comment.
I finally managed to see the Avengers movie on Wednesday night, as all the weekend showings have been fully booked months ahead (silly me). I don’t want to spoil it for the five people who haven’t yet seen it but I will say it’s terrific, and I will always love Thor no matter what. Dr NR had a patient on Monday, a lovely 70 yo woman who had such a superlative anaesthetic that as soon as she woke up, she said she had been dreaming about the new Avengers movie, and proceeded to try and tell him about it. So fearful of spoilers was he, that she was very lucky not to be put back off to sleep again, the way he tells it. Much safer to keep patients stupefied until well after you’ve dropped them off in PACU is my advice, Dr.
It’s been a strange week with the RDA strike. Dragged kicking and screaming down to preassessment clinic on Tuesday but it wasn’t as awful as I’d feared. Only had three patients to see, so nice to have time for a leisurely chat. I’m certain I didn’t follow the correct pathway guidelines for any of them – didn’t have time to read the ‘welcome to preassessment!’ folder online – but please don’t cancel any of these lovely people if they come your way this week. What’s a BMI of 50 or a BP of 200/120 between friends? Apparently the DHB provided trays of food for staff each day, not sure why, I’ve never seen theatre staff looking so relaxed as I have this week. I saw the remnants of one tray and couldn’t understand why anyone would send us a platter of nasty muesli bars, but I was told yesterday that when they arrive they are full of chocolate and yummy slices, but that’s before the nurses pounce like a horde of seagulls. I had to buy my own lunch on Tuesday, $8.70 for a stale egg sandwich from Mojo. Most aggrieved.
I hope you enjoy this week’s newsletter. I hope I manage to publish it.”
OK, so having written my editorial, my next task was to collate all the newsletter submissions together and publish it. Sounds simple but when the ex-editor happened to mention she was free to help out I leapt at the chance. What a humiliating experience. She was completely baffled by my comprehensive lack of any understanding of desktop publishing. “OK” she said “where have you been keeping your old copies? Are they on the g-drive? Are you working on a word version or pdf?” “Um…err…yes?” I said slowly “oh dear – I can see the pain in your eyes – leave it with me” and with that I edged out of her office and miserably went for my lunch. But my torment wasn’t over. After a rather shambolic afternoon inservice which I was chairing, we had our monthly staff meeting. One item on our agenda was the new rostering system. I had managed to install it on my phone, but we were told it was important to also have the desktop version on our computer. “OK” I said, “but how do I get that little picture on my computer screen that I can click on and open the programme?” Lots of groans and eye rolling from my colleagues: “do you need the URL?” “Just bookmark it” “add it to your favourites” “create a shortcut” amidst derisive sniggers. “No wonder she can’t get the newsletter out by herself” muttered one colleague to another. I pretended to take it all in good part – ha ha! how stupid I am – but underneath I was burning with shame. Bugger, I thought: I’m turning into my mother. (Lost track of how many cell phones we bought her over the years, but she never managed to learn how to use one. She lost the last one we got her. “When did you see it last?” “Well, it was making these really irritating beeping noises, and finally I couldn’t bear it any more, so I hid it away in a cupboard so I couldn’t hear it. But now I can’t remember where I put it…” poor Mum. But also: infuriating.)
…….
In the meantime, down in Dunedin, my daughter has been falling drunkenly down flights of stairs, and accidentally microwaving her cell phone. OMG – she’s turning into her mother too.