My brush with fame five years ago.
This was also that time I accidentally sent my email out to a much wider audience than I usually do. No repercussions luckily. Just feedback from very unexpected quarters – surgeons, etc. Reading the original, unexpurgated version (long and tedious if you don’t work at the hospital; long, tedious and controversial if you do), I’m surprised I didn’t get a firm talking to. Ah Well – ancient history now! (Happy to supply original version upon request).
From: Kirsty Jordan
Sent: Friday, 25 July 2014 2:47 p.m.
To: Wellington Anaesthesia All Staff
Subject: Next weeks schedule – a week one
Hi All,
Back today, flew in last night from my holiday in Rarotonga. The wifi was slow and unreliable so apologies for not keeping up with my email correspondence. Also am out of touch with any local or indeed international news, so will just be talking about myself to start with. Rarotonga is a fantastic place to visit, I encourage you all to go ( once we have more staff ). The weather was fantastic, after the torrential rain stopped, and it was lovely and warm even when it got windy. My coscheduler is off skiing this week, which has never appealed to me as a way of escaping the Winter blues. Going somewhere even colder, where you have to pay a lot of money to get up early, work hard, and put yourself at risk of physical injury, makes no sense. Whereas, introducing your children to the joys of scuba diving in tropical waters is just priceless. The worst part of this ten day break for me ( apart from the 10 hour flight delay on day one ) was discovering yesterday as we awaited our airport transfer that the gorgeous couple with their four adorable children in the apartment upstairs was none other than Cory Jane and his family. I was bitterly bemoaning the lost opportunities for smarming and general ingratiating behaviours I could have adopted. Although, I guess they could have found that a little odd – maybe I could have got a mention in his twitter feed as the creepy lady from downstairs…in fact, maybe I’d better check…especially after the misunderstanding over the carparking arrangements. If he’s said anything unkind I might just have to suggest that rolling marbles across the floor at six in the morning is not appropriate behavior for a bunch of preschoolers. And maybe if I apologize for almost running over his daughter with my luggage trolley at the airport he might be less ill disposed towards me… speaking of luggage, can I just remind everyone of the importance of checking your baggage as you remove it from the carousel, to make sure it is actually yours? This happened to me last night on our arrival back in Wellington after a long day. Some stupid banker* took my suitcase and buggered off in a taxi, leaving his sad and lonely lookalike luggage going round a couple of times on the conveyor belt as my sense of humour failure became more and more acute. Hence arriving home at midnight after a prolonged tiki tour of Brooklyn heights or whatever those soulless turbine adjacent suburbs are called. And, today is my birthday, so I don’t want to hear any unkind complaints about my schedule this week. If I had any sense I’d still be there, working my way industriously down the cocktail list on the beach at our resort, and keeping an eye out for any camouflaged sports celebrities.
Kirsty.
*We googled him, apparently he works for Kiwi bank. Reminds me of that old joke about Irish bank managers, which sadly doesn’t work now they’ve joined the Eurozone.