Can you believe I’m still not feeling 100%? When will the punishment end?? Still well enough to be at work, though. Here is another old, expurgated scheduling email to get you through until the creative juices start flowing again (what a nauseating metaphor).
From: Kirsty Jordan
Sent: Friday, 11 July 2014 1:04 p.m.
To: Wellington Anaesthesia All Staff
Subject: Next weeks schedule – a week one
Hi All,
So, it turns out riding a motorbike is almost as dangerous an occupation as playing netball – up there with visiting Auckland or living in Whanganui – this, combined with virulent bugs of one sort or another, have seen our already borderline staffing levels tipping well into the red. I’ve heard even our HOD is losing his sense of humour. Having said that, this coming week, even with the school holidays, never looked too awful. This explains the abundance of extra preassessment clinics. This is so we can cream off the top 10% of the most healthiest patients to have their surgery done in nearby hospitals where there is never a shortage of staff. The main reason things aren’t too tight is that the surgeons have kindly provided advance notice of their leave as well, so that lists can be cancelled when there is no provider. You’d be surprised how often this doesn’t happen.
I have been home alone this week, the mad dog* lady of Karori, abandoned by my family for various exotic locations ( Noosa, Palmerston North ), while I have stayed here to earn the money to pay for everything. But now it’s my turn, and this weekend we are jetting off to Rarotonga for some well deserved R & R ( or G & T ). Temp today, 25 degrees. I’m told the shopping is rubbish, and I’d be better off in Hawaii, but my view is that shopping should not be viewed as a sport or a hobby but rather as an embarrassing addiction, so that doesn’t bother me. Might just need a new pair of togs though. And maybe a sunhat.
Dr J my coscheduler is also meant to be on leave next week, a much anticipated skiing holiday organized a long time ago with the good Dr R. With the absence of both Dr R and snow, this trip may well be postponed to the week after. Dr W will be watching developments closely, as with Dr Y (off hunting bears or whatever he’s doing in Canada), myself and Dr J gone, he becomes the last scheduler standing, and he may be forced to relive his glory days next Friday to get the following weeks schedule out. I’m sure his fan club of middle aged ladies at production planning would love to see him back. Of course, there is always Dr Mck, whom I have rostered as DA – perhaps you ought to arm wrestle for it? ( and the winner gets…).
Wednesday
Gyne onc in place of vascular today. Two patients who may end the day with far fewer internal organs than they started with. ICU forwarned.
Thursday
AliG is in “DA” house.
Dr D ( recent birthday milestone of half way to her three score and ten ) is taking part 2 teaching. Congratulations on another well organized part 2 course, and thanks to all those who helped out. I got a bag of thank you goodies for my small part in scheduling – much easier than actually having to turn up and be clever, especially in the weekend.
Friday
Mr S away in Hawaii on holiday with his four and a half children, and fed up wife. OT 4 therefore has a reg list.
Aere ra,
Kirsty.
*Because cats are dumb