My dog loves it when I mow the lawn. She likes to come out and watch me. The pleasure it gives her is not just from watching someone else work hard when you don’t have to – which I totally understand – but also because she likes to leave me little surprises in the grass to really transform this humdrum activity into a spectator sport. This usually takes the form of either dog bones or steaming fresh turds. As if that isn’t enough fun, she will then stop in front of me to eat the grass before it disappears forever. She won’t get out of my way even if I yell at her, but I’m not allowed to run her over because that would be “cruel”.
Today my neighbour hailed me as I kindly mowed our shared strip of lawn out front, to thank me as he no longer owns a mower, and also to tell me that they are putting their house on the market.
This is their view so I imagine they’ll be wanting quite good money. So, if any of you have a spare million lying around, why not come up to the sunny Kapiti Coast and invest in a bit of waterfront paradise? It may have taken me three hours to drive the 50 k back to Wellington last Sunday, but that is really not typical – and it’ll probably be a couple of decades before we’re all under water up here – so what are you waiting for?? I’d buy it myself only I seem to have misplaced my chequebook somewhere…
They’ve invited twenty of their nearest and dearest, all with young families, to spend Christmas up here, as a last hurrah. It’s been a while since I’ve been woken by the sound of crying babies, I must say. Oh well, a bit of payback I guess for our stupid dogs who have a tendency to bark at imaginary burglars at irregular hours of the day and night. They say good fences make good neighbours (is that the theory Trump’s working on with Mexico?), but what is chiefly needed is good soundproofing.