To the Unknown Parent

Dear (insert name here),

Thank you so much for your hospitality in allowing my daughters to attend the party that you are allowing your child to have at your house (what were you thinking??). I am writing this email after repeated entreaties from said daughters, to let you know that we are OK with them consuming alcohol at your house. I’m hoping the girls are sensible enough not to do anything stupid, but if they do miscalculate and end up throwing up I’m sure they’ll help clean it up. And if by chance there are any wannabe Brock Turners at the party, who aren’t held back by peer pressure or any sort of pesky moral compass, then I trust you will be sure that there’s an ‘adult in the room’ that will keep everyone safe. I must confess, the last party (that I know of) that we hosted at our place, I hid in my room most of the night, and it was fortunate that the girl who was dropped on her head landed in a hedge rather than on the concrete, so no harm done. Anyway, don’t let that put you off! I’m sure everything will be fine. You might want to hide anything of sentimental value though.

Hope everyone has a good time, best wishes, and good luck.

Kind regards,

Kirsty Jordan

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